Zelma’s Aphorisms, Old-School Wisdom, Instructive, Inspirational, Hilarious to Outrageous is inspired by the Book of Proverbs, the book of wisdom for living. The teachings include instruction on folly sin, goodness, wealth, poverty, the tongue, pride, humility, justice, vengeance, strife, gluttony, love, lust, laziness, friends, family, life, and death. Almost every facet of human relationship is mentioned in the Book of Proverbs. The teachings of the book is applicable to all men everywhere. At the time Zelma started to develop her personal collection of sayings, it was shortly after her mother passed away when she was just eight years old. Her aphorisms are not as fine-tuned as the Bible, but she cleverly developed a style that was applicable for her younger sibling and, subsequently, her children. I, as a writer, lived by and was influenced by my mother’s sayings. Some of these aphorisms are her originals and many she picked up from her father, husband, and strangers she came in contact. What is missing for the reader is the inflection of her voice combined with the words. In some instances, my mother could have been a professional entertainer. However, in her family, she was recognized as a friendly, kind, generous, and loving spirit to all. She was a dutiful daughter, sister, wife, and mother. She was born and raised in Washington, DC, and was a member of the Methodist Church in Washington, DC, and Bel Air, Maryland.