Vlad Chomsky has a comfortable life. He is a professor of archaeology at a small Midwestern university. He has three children and a lovely wife, Maria. Yes, everything in Vlad's life is a comfortable routine-until the day his wife tells him she is leaving him for her bowling team manager. Feeling like a "used husband" who has been returned to the store as defective, Vlad begins a new life. On the way, he meets a cast of characters who help him discover that even something as impossible to make as a seven ten split really is possible. There is his new landlady, a 90-something former burlesque queen, and her tiny Toy Poodle, Gaston. There is her un-handyman, Norm, librarian Beatrice Krup, who has a crush on him. And of course, Britney, his new love and student activist. This motley cast of characters somehow manages to draw him into a terrorist plot, and Vlad and Gaston must save the town from a crazed saboteur.