A rambling, shambolic account of my life and career written as short stories—some rude, some funny, some tragic. I started this as an aid to my recovery from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in 2014 after a long period in hospital. I was very lucky after a week in a government mental ward to get accepted at Lakeside Clinic at Warner’s Bay Private Hospital, where I was treated with care and kindness and, for the first time in my life, learned something about my own emotions and to speak of them—a very hard lesson to learn. Take my word, though, if you suffer PTSD or depression—don’t let the hole get too deep. Talk to someone no matter how hard or how much it hurts; it is not just important to your well-being but of your family and friends as well. Some of my friends say I am a uniform collector, in my time being a scout, senior scout, cub instructor, soldier, police officer, special constable, MSS security officer, scout leader, volunteer firefighter, Atlanta Olympics security team officer, Sydney Olympics OVIP, Northern Agencies security officer, and lastly, a transit officer. Anyway, if you have gotten this far, I hope you enjoy the rest of this book.