These are my journals I had when I was drowning. I start writing them about the time I turn 17. About 4 years after being molested.I am definitely not okay but I hide that for my safety mostly. Everyone feels like I should just be moving on and be fine. They don't want me to have anything against him cause they don't count what happened as being molested anyway, And I am trying to be okay, but I'm just not. Constantly torn between accepting my feelings and keeping them hidden all I managed to do was tear myself apart. I have no idea if they know how bad off I was. Or if they were just over looking and writing it off as me over exaggerating and that if I just forgive I can move on ..cause he's such a good guy.. I do have earlier writing some place...a live journal I can't get into. An email address I also cant get into. Notes that are probably ash..tons of stuff I probably burned. My third journal is missing. I have no idea where it is. I will give you guys what I do have