Grognar 3: Grognar and the Accountancy of Doom
is a hilariously bureaucratic descent into dungeon madness-an adventure where the sharpest blades are spreadsheets, and the deadliest traps come with glitter warnings.
Grognar, once a brutish Goregoblin with dreams of dungeon domination, has finally claimed his lair. But The Whispering Labyrinth is no ordinary death trap-it's now a health-and-safety nightmare of mimics, motivational skulls, and sparkle-based fatalities. With his minions loyal (ish), his assistant D.A.V.E. snarky as ever, and his traps wildly unsafe, Grognar should be thriving.
But then... the envelope arrives.
A hiss. A twitch. A signature required in blood.
A tax audit.
Thus begins a new kind of terror-one of forms, fines, and fiscal doom. Grognar and his oddball crew are forced to journey to the infernal realms to recruit Louise, a tiefling accountant so composed she can frighten demons into compliance and cook pakoras during a raid. With clipboard in hand and a hell hound named Nellie at her side, Louise isn't just efficient-she's lethal.
Meanwhile, back at the Guild of Heroes, the original adventuring party-now retired, traumatized, and permanently glittered-are forced to relive their ordeal during a terrifying audit session with Bertram the Unwaivable, a gnome so grim his briefcase is a mimic too scared to move. As they recount tales of sparkly bunnies and emotionally scarring boops, it becomes clear: this dungeon isn't just dangerous, it's deeply...
procedural
.
As the audit intensifies, Grognar must expand his dungeon or risk reclassification as a "haunted closet with ambition." That means new traps, more paperwork, and even more glitter. Louise leads the charge, Barry the sentient paperwork stack embarks on a romantic quest to win the heart of an elite filing cabinet, and Petunia begins redecorating the trap corridors for "maximum sparkle-based confusion."
Between disco-based deathtraps, surprise therapy pole-dancing pixies, and enchanted snack carts, the chaos escalates. With Bertram moving in, kobolds fearing Comic Sans, and a dungeon forced to file in triplicate-only one thing is certain: compliance has never been this catastrophic.
Grognar 3
is a tale of fire, filing, and fierce financial footnotes. If you've ever wondered what happens when a goblin gets audited, when love blossoms between filing systems, or how to survive a glitter bunny with teeth-this is your book.