Mathews is the name. Abbreviated wit is my game. Never mind that I can't play the guitar or carry a tune. I'll leave those incidental details to the little people. The big payday in Nashville is coming up with song titles that capsulize the human condition in 12 words or less.
The hook, in other words.
The history of country music has given us such wonderfully titled classics as "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," "Sleeping Single in a Double Bed," "Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)," "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly," "What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)," "My Son Calls Another Man Daddy," "She's Acting Single, I'm Drinking Doubles," "I Cheated Me Right Out of You," "Drop Kick Me, Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)" and "Beer Never Broke My Heart."
As country music fans know, most of the tunes fit into one or more of the following categories: Flat-out lust, drinking the night away, jealousy, the bitter end of a relationship, misplaced love, trying to get through life with a minimum of brains, rednecks doing what rednecks do, getting thrown in jail, enduring pain and discomfort in the name of love, cleavage, chain gangs, thinking about cheating, cheating and covering up the fact that you cheated.