The can't-miss teaming of Mel Gibson and Goldie Hawn is squandered on a clumsy, illogical romantic melodrama. Running across her old boyfriend Gibson at a Wisconsin gas station, Hawn is astounded that he seems not to recognize her. How could she have known that Gibson was put into the Witness Relocation Program after testifying against a homicidal mob boss (say, don't they usually alter your appearance when they put you in that program?) Curious over Gibson's furtive behavior, Hawn unknowingly sets herself up as a target for the bad guys. The whole affairs culminates in an after-hours showdown at a zoo (a plot device vastly improved upon in the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle
Eraser
). While
Bird on a Wire
admittedly has its moments of enjoyment, most of the film is on a par with Gibson's embarrassing, homophobic scene with a pair of epicine hairdressers. And whoever heard of the Chinatown section of Racine, Wisconsin?